I’ve spoken at two funerals.
One was for my father’s passing.
The other time, my words were for a friend who had died at a young age… in her early 30’s.
It was along time ago but the day is still as fresh in my mind as if it had been yesterday.
She was a vibrant, life-loving person. And I watched her die. She had a rare and aggressive form of cancer which she fought with courage and dignity but eventually lost the battle.
The cancer slipped into her life silently; unpredictably; uncontrollably. Nothing she did invited it in. Nothing she did could have prevented it.
Her husband was overwhelmed with grief; immobilized and filled with anger. In an instant, he lost all hope; anything good and bright died that day.
And I felt Despair and Futility wraps its cold, spindly fingers around my heart and whisper in my ear, “Why bother with all of this stupid stuff everyday? You’re going to die anyway.”
Who cares if you just do whatever you want? Move to Hawaii. Go surfing. Drink beer for breakfast. Hell, take up smoking. Exercise? What a waste of time. Just live.
Why bother with being healthy when your future is uncontrollable? Unknowable? The only thing that is certain about life is there is a beginning and an end.
Here’s how I think about it now. Back then, had you asked me, I’m not sure I would have had this perspective but this is one of the perks of aging – you learn.
Be Healthy Not Just For You But For Those You Love
I encountered this frequently in my physical therapy practice with clients who had young children or grandchildren. They wanted to be able to play with their kids; do things together but couldn’t because of some physical limitation or pain. Often times, the problem they were facing was from “deferred maintenance” – not taking care of yourself over the years and one day something fails. A shoulder, knee, hip, back. And then you’re sidelined.
The time to take care of yourself the most is when you think you need it the least.
Be Healthy Not Just To Be Healthy But To Do Something You LOVE
I discovered, somewhat late in life, that I had given up on something that I truly loved to do. And you know it’s something you love when there is no time; no sense of start or finish. You’re lost in the joy of it.
For me, that’s playing music and specifically my trumpet.
But the trumpet is a physically demanding instrument. Doc Severinsen once said, “The trumpet is a jealous mistress. She doesn’t allow me much time for anything else.” Having been away from my horn for so many years, like 30, I had lost a lot of the physical capacity and abilities I needed to play.
My trumpet playing motivates me to take care of myself; to improve myself. And it works. I went from not being able to play 10 minutes about two years ago to now playing in a band.
So, whenever I feel less than motivated, I think about playing. Being healthy means playing and loving every minute of it to me.
Be Healthy Because You Just Might Need To Be
Not knowing what’s around the corner can mean a life that may suddenly end like my friend or it could mean a life that is long.
And if your life is long, being as healthy as possible does a couple of things for you.
It saves you money. Fewer doctor visits, pills, aids, et means more money in your bank account.
It means mobility and freedom when you need it the most. The truth is the average American, based on research from the Centers for Disease Control, spends the last 12 years of life in ill-health and battling all sorts of problems. That’s nearly 71,000 of your wakeful hours filled with disease and / or disability and most of these problems are derived from your lifestyle.
Being Healthy IS Possible
It’s a process. Yes, it often requires you to change but that’s the point.
Whatever you do, I encourage you to shake off the cold, spindly fingers of Despair and Futility and live as healthy of a life you can.
What are you doing to be healthy? And who are you doing it for?
